You have these people in your life who are always OK.

Nothing seems to ever truly throw them off. Shit happens, as it does to all who walk through life—but for them, it looks like just another step on their path. Perhaps a little wobble but soon enough they’re on their way. They don’t complain. They keep moving. If you ask offhandedly, they’ll answer automatically, “I’m fine.”

And sometimes we are fine. There’s nothing of note to report. We’re dealing with the things, and we’re making our way through.

But sometimes, our silence isn’t a sign of sanguinity in the face of challenge. Sometimes it’s the sign of quiet struggle in solitude.

Why not speak up though?

Because we’re the ones who are always OK. It’s what’s expected of us—by family, friends, self.

Perhaps we’re trying to convince ourselves that we really are OK, this is fine, we’re fine, everything is fine. Sometimes that’s what we need to continue forward.

Or perhaps, whether from imagination or experience, we feel/fear that you don’t know how to react to us not being OK. Will you brush it off? “Oh it’s not that bad. You’ll be fine, you always are.” Or will you view it a radical and disconcerting twist? “You’re always fine! This is completely out of character. You need to manage this.”

Check in on your friends who are always OK. Listen to their silence as much as their words. Because sometimes, like everyone else in this world, we’re not fine. And know we’re not alone when we’re not OK can make the way ahead seem a little lighter.