2025: a year to trust

Posted on January 5, 2025 by biochembelle

The year ahead has been looming large on my mind for many months. You can see that reflected even as I wrote about my theme for 2024.

This year, I am leading a large, complex project at work. In fact, the work started with a small core group a year ago. But soon it reaches full swing.

Flash back & forward

The last time I managed such a large project was my first go, in a new leadership role focused on this work. The work of many people, it would determine whether we continued to receive funding for our institute. Oh, and it was 2020. We had to transition to working from home. I had to hire and onboard my first direct report over Zoom and phone. Many of our contributors were physicians, treating patients in a pandemic. In December of 2020, I started my days on the laptop with coffee in hand, and I ended my days at my home desk, with an empty glass of wine at hand—often having eaten dinner, which my husband had made, at that same desk. There was very little running in the final months of the year. My stress and anxiety were high. My relationships were a bit strained. The year had drained me.

This year, we’re applying for our major funding again. This time, the funder has changed the structure and shifted focus. We have new leadership. I have broader responsibilities within the institute. But I can’t have the year I had in 2020. It was damaging to my physical, emotional, and relational well-being.

Something to lead 2025

As I sought a beacon for 2025, I thought about sustainable excellence. But that seemed to place the focus solely on my professional identity. I played with words around wayfinding, like North Star and compass and navigator or guide. But they felt too abstract and/or passive. Recent reading had me thinking about resilience. But that felt too focused on the stress, activating practices, many of which I already have. And it missed the exhilaration that accompanies work that matters and that you (sometimes) excel at. I then considered adaptation and Brad Stulberg’s concept of rugged flexibility. But somehow these felt too focused on changes, not adequately recognizing the foundations and experience that I didn’t have 5 years ago.

Finally, though, as I looked back over the lessons I (re)learned in 2024, a word glowed brightly. It hummed resonantly within me. I carried it with me a couple of days, and it took root in my heart and mind.

Trust (v.)

I have held high standards for a longtime. I have fallen into perfectionistic tendencies. I have doubted myself, my capabilities. I have even doubted others’ assessment of and faith in my skills and abilities. I have hauled around a lot worry and anxiety. I have taken on work that maybe shouldn’t have been mine, perhaps because I couldn’t let go of my expectations or because I felt it was my role to protect others.

Yet when I returned to my monthly reflections from the past year, I saw something I might have missed before. I saw strength. I saw recognition of skills that I’ve built over a lifetime. I saw acknowledgement of growth and change, even as I knew there was space for improvement (as there always is). I saw reminders to trust.

Trust is not a static thing. It is tended by ongoing engagement, though often in the background. We can say we have trust (n.) in something or someone. But its real value comes in the practice. We put our trust on the hook when we trust (v.) that capability or person and entrust (v.) it/them with the work at hand.

This image offers an example of what’s possible when we trust. It was taken by a friend at mile 70 of a 100-mile race. I had to trust my training, my friends who paced and crewed me, the many lessons I’ve accumulated over 5+ years of ultrarunning. It was an incredibly challenging thing, exhausting, and yet there was so much beauty in it too.

And so 2025 is my year to trust (v.)—not just to recognize skills, commitment, and accountability in myself and others, but to rely on them in the year ahead. A few specific areas where I can practice trust have emerged:

  • Trust the training. This comes from my running practice. It’s about managing the nerves as you approach a big goal race. Know that you have done and are doing what you need to do—and that “cramming” in extra miles or workouts probably won’t help. It’s about the illusion of control, that more must be better. I want to bring this idea into other parts of my life. I want to trust that the experience I have, the work I have done and will do, is creating the conditions for success with sanity.
  • Trust my intuition. I trained as a scientist. I can be incredibly analytical. And yet I often look back on a situation and see that the analytical side slowly arrived at the same end as my intuition. That doesn’t mean I should skip or ignore the analysis, but rather to not so readily dismiss instinct.
  • Trust my people. This applies to my team, my leaders, my partner, my friends… I’m not in this life alone. We’ve chosen these relationships. I know what they can bring into my life, how they can help and support me—if I let them, if I get out of their way.
  • Trust my wisdom. I typically think of wisdom as something that we learn from others. As I reviewed those lessons I wrote down from each month of 2024, I was moved and struck by how some cycled through the year in different ways. This isn’t about ego. I know I have so much to learn in life. But I’ve been on this planet for more than 4 decades now, and I can honor what I’ve learned along the way.
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Looking back: how the year for systems went

Posted on January 5, 2025 by biochembelle

In 2024, my word of the year* (sparked by Ryan Holiday) was systems.

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” – James Clear

This quote is on a post-it by my desk. I keep coming back to it as a reminder for the importance of systems in moving through the world, including how systems can block us from achieving goals.

I approached systems on different levels in 2024. I started with my personal organization. I’ve tried different approaches to task lists and time management. The everything list inevitably led to frustration and overwhelm. Starting with Ugmonk Analog and adding in Smartsheet for all task tracking, I developed a system to manage the cognitive load of numerous projects and activities to follow and to set a reasonable/achievable amount of work for the day (mostly). I integrated into my daily and weekly planning work an iterative reflective practice that has helped me recognize my reactions and responses and to see trends in what I’m experiencing. This in part adopts Cal Newport’s ‘shutdown routine’ (see my post on shutdown practices).

These systems helped me not just spot but act on challenges I’ve long experienced around taking on too much work personally. One new ‘system’ I added was a 24-hour rule for new projects. If it’s an obvious ‘no’, I can say so immediately. But if I’m considering a ‘yes’, then I have to take at least 24 hours to respond. I need to check if I have adequate information to make a decision and consider the impact on my work/life. What will need to change if I say ‘yes’?

I also tended relationships and tried new processes as the system of our institute shifts with changes in leadership and future expectations set by our funder. I started figuring out the levers I have to help me address challenges as they arise, that I don’t have to do it all alone. I worked towards more shared systems for my team, as it grew this year. There’s still space for developing shared practices and systems, but I’m further along than a year ago.

Outside work, I also worked to shore up leadership of a women’s trail running group I co-lead. These voluntary roles can take a lot of energy. Having a team means each of us can step forward or back as life cycles through its seasons and demands.

I continued to fuel my physical training, literally and figuratively. That was my coach, my community, my commitment. They supported me through finishing one of the toughest 100 mile foot races in the United States.

I found that some of my systems were already thriving through routines. Early mornings for yoga—though in 100-mile peak training, sometimes yoga was a 30-minute nap, thanks to learning to listen to the signals of my body systems. A bit of time for reading everyday—culminating in 39 books read. A farm box delivery for half the year to promote consumption of nutritious fresh vegetables from the region. Using Sunday dinners as a time to check in with my partner at the table.

I can always find ways that I fell short. But overall I can see the progress I made on crafting systems that support me. I feel more prepared for the year ahead than I did a year ago.

* I first selected a word/theme for the year in 2018. You can read about the origin of this approach and the first theme here.

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Books I read in October 2024

Posted on November 4, 2024 by biochembelle

Here’s what I finished reading last month.

The Amen Effect by Sharon Brous

A meditation on connection & care. Focus on showing up in the difficult times. But also a reminder to show up for the celebrations too. Reinforces that connection starts with simply seeing the other person, even in their despair, even in if they’ve done harm.

Pair with How We Show Up by Mia Birdsong.

More from the author on Guy Kawasaki’s Remarkable People.

The Great Mental Models: General Thinking Concepts by Shane Parrish

Introduces the philosophy of learning different ways to view the world & applying them to decision making. Covers some general concept models, such as second order & probabilistic thinking. Quick read. For me, a recap of models I know, but sometimes it’s useful to step back & revisit basics.

Check out Parrish’s in-depth interviews on The Knowledge Project.

The Friction Project by Robert Sutton & Huggy Rao

Or why systems suck & how to fix them. Bureaucracy often isn’t the product of malice or apathy, but a series of decisions, often made in isolation. Defines out the traps that produce friction in systems and approaches that people at different levels of influence can use to overcome them. Also highlights where we should add friction to prevent harm, reduce errors, and even accelerate future work.

Really enjoyed this & it’s quite relevant to my work.

Key takeaways from the authors on The Next Big Idea Daily.

Build an A Team by Whitney Johnson

What if management isn’t all about employee productivity? Using the the S-curve model of learning, suggests organizations should largely select for growth potential over mastery, while providing support, mentoring & safe spaces to fail. Also watching for need to help people move to new S-curve, whether new hires not suited to role or those who’ve achieved mastery & are at risk of boredom & disengagement.

A cool way to think about employee hiring, development & retention—but the “ideal” balance is tough in small teams. Super quick read; knocked most of it out in a couple of 90-min plane rides.

Co-Intelligence by Ethan Mollick

One of my favorite reads last month. A measured take on how AI is already changing our world. Sets up AI as a partner, rather than a replacement, for human. Highlights different roles AI can play, while addressing risks—e.g., AI might be great at summarizing info, but what does that mean for human learning & information processing? As Mollick notes, the AIs we’re working with today are likely to be the worst we’ll ever see.

The future is here. How will we work with(out) it?

More from Mollick on Adam Grant’s ReThinking.

The Unspoken Rules: Secrets to Starting Your Career Off Right by Gorick Ng

No, I am not starting off. Picked it up as I thought about what’s now implicit/unconscious to me that might not be obvious to those new to the workplace, especially in environments different from those of their families/communities of origin. Acknowledges the impact that identities (including gender, race, ethnicity) can have on expectations & standards—and that these are systems that should change, while providing tips to navigate.

A good resource for those new to the workforce. Managers/mentors might find it useful to flip through or skim/share.

Author interview on HBR Ideacast.

Emotional Agility by Susan David

Provides a framework for understanding that many emotional reactions are hooked to experiences long ago—and learning to recognize those reactions, take a pause & unhook your response & action. After describing different aspects & strategies, covers how emotional agility can be used with kids & at work.

Author interview on On Leadership.

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Transforming Work-Life with Shutdown Practices

Posted on October 20, 2024 by biochembelle

10:30 pm. I’m wide awake. Maybe that’s normal for you, but I’m an early-to-bed/early-to-rise sort of person. I should be descending deeper into slumber. But my brain is running through all the things I need to get done. The things I need to remember to add to my list tomorrow. The frustrations over things that have not gone perfectly, some beyond my control. It’s feeling like a long week. And it’s only Monday.

Eventually, I give in. My mind is not is a space for rest. I get out of bed, creep quietly upstairs. Find pen and paper. Start writing. List all those tasks I need to do or follow, which I’m not sure are on my list. Writing why I feel like I’ve failed, or at least not performed to the level I expected. I at least refrain from opening my computer, diving into some work. I would just be losing more sleep to soothe my anxiety, only to be less alert and engaged tomorrow. A vicious cycle, and this one already feels vicious enough.

Gradually, the racing thoughts slow down. I feel my body calming, my eyelids growing heavy. Time to try for sleep again.

That sleepless night was the final nudge I needed to add a daily ritual that I had been thinking about for weeks but yet hadn’t committed to: a shutdown routine.

Two months later, I truly feel like it has improved my life—even if I’m still struggling with its foundational purpose.

I heard Cal Newport talk about shutdown routines on his Deep Questions podcast several times. It seemed pretty simple. At the end of each day, check your inbox and attend to any urgent issues. If there are any new tasks arising from emails or notes, add them to your task lists. Scan your lists and calendar to look for upcoming deadlines or appointments. Create a rough plan for the next day. Once those steps are done, say a phrase (or do a small action) that affirms the routine’s completion and ends your work for the day. As I understand it, the goal is let professional concerns go for the day. If something comes up, you note that you’ve addressed it and let it go.

Of course, this ritual must build on some preexisting practices. Fortunately, my theme for 2024 is systems. I’ve been playing throughout the year with approaches to help me manage my tasks, time, and energy.

My Bricks

I am a tactile creature. I prefer to take notes by hand. I had been keeping a task list in my ‘everything’ notebook (inspired by Raul Pacheco-Vega, though mine is not quite as structured). But late last year, I started feeling defeated as some tasks were constantly being carried for, week to week. I also found I was struggling to keep track of work on hold, waiting for others’ feedback or contributions. Through some trial and error, I’ve developed a system that’s working for me.

Digital task boards form the foundation. I am using Smartsheet, because we already use it in my workplace. Plus it has nice features for task tracking, such as file attachments, comments, and an Outlook add-on that can appends email messages to a row. I default to card view, in which top level tasks are shown as cards organized into lanes based on status.

Newport advocates for one board per role. Depending on how you slice it, I had a single role or many that are difficult to separate. I started with a single comprehensive list of my own work. I am adjusting the system as I realize a need or take on a new role. For now, I have 3 boards:

  1. Operations management role: I recently took on new responsibilities for our institute’s operations and administration. This work is clearly distinguishable from my other tasks. It is focused on processes and protocols, and I aim to keep it contained in specific time blocks. Creating a separate board for this was a no-brainer. It reduces the distraction when I’m doing this work and when I’m focused on other roles.
  2. My other work: This was the original comprehensive list. It captures all work I’m responsible for outside my operations role. This includes my primary role in research development, strategic and tactical planning for our upcoming major grants, reports, people management, presentations, support tasks for other teams… As I write this post, I am beginning to see how I might split this board up.a
  3. Research development team status: Different brains work different ways.b I don’t want to force others to adopt my precise way of working—especially when I’m still figuring it out myself. But I have two direct reports with projects and activities for which I am accountable but not responsible.c This board is less granular than those above offers work visibility across my team, so we can see where we have capacity or might be approaching overload.

I’ve outsourced memory to these lists, so I worry less about forgetting things.

Handwritten lists shape my day. At the start of the year, I found an elegant physical to-do list tool called Analog. The premise is simple: Use one Today card to capture your meetings and to-dos for the day. But it offers only 10 lines, which forces a cap on the number of activities you try to take on. Depending on the size of the task, I often find 10 is even too many. Analog also includes Next cards to capture important tasks to do later and Someday cards for goals and aspirations for the future (I’m still figuring out how to use these most effectively).

Yes, I could use a notepad or a digital tool, but I prefer the physical weight of the cards. It almost serves as an anchor that helps prevent me from straying too far from the tasks at hand.

I like the back of the cards, which has a simple dotted grid for the user’s choice of purpose. I tried practicing daily reflections before, but it never stuck. With the Today cards, I began writing down my thoughts and experiences each day. I’ve kept at it for months now and find it very useful for seeing patterns and gaining insights. (More on this another day…)

I would write my reflections and prepare my Today card, either at the end of the day or at the beginning of the next one. But I hadn’t established a formal end-of-day ritual yet.

The Mortar to Bind the Bricks

I didn’t have a habit of clearing my inboxes—digital and cognitive—each day. Waking in the night to the hum of racing thoughts was… well, a wake-up call.

Since I had the core pieces, creating a shutdown ritual was pretty simple.

I set aside 15 to 20 minutes at the end of my workday. I added a reminder to my calendar and included ‘Shutdown routine’ as the last item on my daily card.

During this time, I mostly follow Newport’s model. I now clear my primary email inbox empty at the end of each day. If I can resolve with a quick response, I reply. If a message requires action, I create or update a card in the appropriate list, then move the message to a ‘Work queue’ folder. I file informational/update messages in relevant folders. If something piques my interest but isn’t time sensitive, it goes into a folder for review later. Other messages are simply deleted. I use Outlook’s Other Inbox and rules to keep my primary inbox sparse (e.g., listserv messages automatically go to a specified folder for bulk review). Plus I manage my email a few times per day. The end-of-day clearing usually takes just a few minutes, unless there’s an urgent fire to deal with.

Then, I go to my digital boards. I update card statuses and add comments to keep track of developments. I add cards or sub-tasks I made throughout the day. Now I know my task lists are up-to-date.

Next, I move to my daily reflection. I’ve finished my tasks, but I haven’t planned for tomorrow. So I can focus on my experience and understanding of what happened or what I learned today.

Finally, I set up my Today card for the next workday. I open my calendar to review my schedule, checking for any early or late meetings that require adjustments to my routine. Sometimes I decide to drop a meeting or webinar to make space for more focused work. I select a few priorities from my boards as tasks for the day. Then I put the card where I will see it when I arrive at my desk the next morning.

Results—and Room for Improvements

I revealed the conclusion at the start. The shutdown routine helps me have fewer work-related thoughts during my personal time.

Where I often fail, though, is letting work thoughts pass by when they do arise. I worry less about forgetting tasks since I’ve recorded them, and they’re just waiting for their moment. But I am realizing that I often carry some of the emotional response and cognitive processing with me. If there’s a knotty problem, my brain has trouble setting it aside.

I haven’t consistently used a clear cue to acknowledge the end of my ritual. After finishing his routine, Newport says aloud, “Shutdown complete.” Could something so small shift my lingering attention on work? Perhaps. But I think it’s will likely require more psychological/mindfulness training for me.

Even so, this simple method to clear my mind and get ready for tomorrow has significantly improved my work and life in just two short months. I’m eager to see how this practice continues to evolve.

Footnotes

a Another personal reminder of the value of spending time on writing, even if it’s seen by few, and why I often take longer than planned: Writing is thinking.

Of course, I also put more time into writing ‘simple’ posts than expected because of asides such as in these footnotes 😅

b A great example: Cal Newport and Oliver Burkeman, two thoughtful voices in the productivity space, talk about shared philosophies and tactical disagreements.

c In professional project management, we distinguish accountability from responsibility. The accountable individual is the person who “owns” the work. They need to make sure the work gets done and meets specifications, even if they’re not doing it themselves. There should only be one accountable party. The responsible individuals (one or more) do the work to yield the deliverable. You can be both accountable and responsible, but as you move into management, you’re often delegating responsibility while retaining accountability. Responsibility and accountability are half of the RACI chart roles.

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Books I finished in September 2024

Posted on October 13, 2024 by biochembelle

It’s been a while… again. Blogging has been a sporadic activity in recent years. Yet I’ve felt the tug to write again for some time. So here I am again, seeing what I can make of my blogging spaces. If you’re interested in my running adventures, pop over to my other blog for a recent post about my experience taking on one of the toughest 100 milers in the United States.

In recent years, my reading of books has picked up again, though 2023 had a dip. I have already read more than twice as many books in 2024 as I did last year. I’m trying something a little different here. Inspired by a favorite podcast and a couple of newsletters, I’m sharing the books I finished reading last month. The goal here isn’t deep analysis. I only want to share a few thoughts on what I’ve read. So without further ado…

September’s list

September was an unusually high month for books completed. In no particular order…

1. The No Club: Putting a Stop to Women’s Dead-End Work by Linda Babcock, Brenda Peyser, Lise Vesterlund, and Laurie Weingart

This book arose from a group of high-performing women feeling overwhelmed by the work they had committed to, eventually producing a line of research to better understand how they (and many other women) ended up in their state while simultaneously helping each other push back and rebalance their loads. The central premise is that women (as well as people of color, and especially women of color) take on a disproportionate level of non-promotable work. This moves beyond the “office housework” concept in which women take notes, fill coffee, and plan celebrations. It also includes activities that may be important, even critical, to the organization but that do not generate the “currency” that is recognized in promotion. In the academic setting where these authors work, this included things like curriculum design and IRB service whereas their promotion and tenure depended on research and publications.

Honestly, a lot in this book will come as little surprise to women who have worked professionally for any length of time. One thing I appreciate is how they highlight the impact of this type of work across different professions and how they debunk many of the assumptions about why women end up doing more of this work than men. Even though the authors are academics, they also provide very practical guidance on how to identify and evaluate the promotability of work, acknowledging that it will change across contexts (including career stage), and strategies to reduce the amount of non-promotable work you take on. I’m hoping to return to complete the exercises they outline at the end of each chapter to better understand how this might play out in my own role.

2. How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community by Mia Birdsong

We have developed and internalized many social and cultural norms about what family and friendship is supposed to look like. In American society, at least, this is stereotypically rooted in the nuclear family and familial ties, with spouse/partner filling many roles. Mia Birdsong draws on different visions of family, friendship, and community that have been created, often by members of marginalized groups who were ostracized from or simply didn’t have access to the “traditional” structures that media, popular culture, and even government elevate.

This book (along with The Amen Effect by Sharon Brous, which I started in September) have me examining my spaces and thinking about how I show up and what my sense of family and community might look like. I have gained significant levels of privilege in my life, but the “traditional” family and friend structures that I grew up with don’t fit my life. I am married to a man, but there are no kids in our future. I’m still a few years out from turning 45, but both my parents are now dead, I live on the opposite side of the country as my remaining family, and those relationships have grown more and more distant over time. I don’t have conclusions at the moment. But I have some hope that we can imagine ways forward.

3. The Art of Living by Thich Nhat Han

I originally picked this up in April 2023, heading to a mindful running retreat in Nepal and Bhutan. When I returned, it was tucked into some spot out of sight—until I relocated it again a few months ago. It’s not a long read, but it’s one I’ve moved through slowly. I’ve found myself drawn to many tenets of Buddhism, expressed here and in other readings and listenings in recent years. This book delves deeply into the concept of interdependence, letting go, and the art of presence. Perhaps one of the most significant lessons I took was that “being present in the moment” does not mean releasing aspiration, but rather perhaps our rationale and attachment to aspiration.

4. Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport

My first Cal Newport read was A World Without Email in 2020. I quickly devoured Slow Productivity when it was released earlier this year. I’ve listened to his podcast Deep Questions for years, almost always taking away something meaningful. And I’ve heard Newport and others talk about Deep Work (both the book and the concept) for a while. But I hadn’t picked up the book until The Growth Equation Academy selected it for their book club, associated with the theme of humane productivity.

Yet I think I read this book at just the right time. I’ve been working on building habits and routines this year that will clear the way for a more sane, sustainable approach to intense work projects next year. I had been implementing some of Newport’s systems (learned from his podcast and other books). But the deep dive into Deep Work helped some ideas click into place. Similar to the first book on my September reading list, Newport balances an exploration of academic research with personal experience and practical strategies and tips for establishing a deep work practice. And in fact, as I read The No Club, I found myself thinking back to Deep Work principles.

I’m now working more intentionally on carving out time for deep work and understanding what demands that level of focus and how to best prepare myself and workspace for it. His Q&A for The Growth Equation Academy also has me thinking about how to encourage and support my team to integrate deep work practice into their routines.

5. The Political Determinants of Health by Daniel E. Dawes

More and more, people have been recognizing that developing new medical interventions is not enough to change health at a population level in the United States. Rather many issues are driven by social determinants of health, non-medical factors such as income, education, zip code, and health care access. This book pushes further, positioning political determinants including policies, systems, and politics as ‘determinants of the determinants’—i.e., that it is voting and the legislation passed that change or maintain the social determinants of health.

Daniel Dawes, a lawyer and professor, provides a brief history of health equity policies at the federal level, effectively going back to the founding of the United States. A centerpiece of the book is the development, passage, and preservation of the Affordable Care Act. Dawes offers incredible insights, having been at the forefront of this legislation. I think there are many excellent lessons here for folks interested in health policy. As someone who is not a policy maker or advocate, though, I think this text provides a critical reminder of the importance of voting and contacting elected officials in moving the needle on seemingly intractable problems in our society.

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